We all have experienced failed relationships at some point in our lives. Whether it’s a short-term relationship, a long-term relationship, an engagement before marriage, and even marriage itself.
When it comes to marriages, the current divorce rate according to APA.ORG is 50%. The divorce rate for subsequent marriages is even higher, they report. I would have to agree with this 100%. I feel the divorce rate is probably higher than 50% these days.
According to McKinley Irvin, one of the 32 shocking divorce statistics is that the average length of a marriage that ends in a divorce is 8 years!
Personally speaking, my parents have been married for about 35 years, which is quite an achievement. Although their relationship has been rocky, it has taught me do’s and dont’s in relationships as a whole. It’s funny that our parents teach us either what we do want in our lives or what we don’t want in our lives when it comes to relationships. I personally went through a divorce 4 years ago, and thereafter experienced dating as an adult for the first time, which is surprising to most. I had my first child at 17 with my ex-husband and we had 2 more beautiful girls after. After my divorce, I also experienced failed relationships some serious and some not.
Looking back on my experience, I have learned some important essentials that can make or break a relationship at any point. Although every case is different, for instance, if there was infidelity involved or abuse, there are some common key steps and factors to consider prior to or even during a relationship that can strengthen your chances for success. Understanding these important things can help people or couples “reverse engineer” the problems before they start to happen.
Here are 5 major factors you should be prepared for:
- CONNECTION: Ensure there is a true connection – Before entering or committing to a relationship, it is important to make sure there is a true connection; mentally, physically, spiritually, and on all levels to include a friendship. You should see your significant other as a true partner in your life and vice versa.
- FINANCES: Make sure you understand each other financially – Whether we want to acknowledge it or not, finances in a relationship are super important. How do you and your partner view finances, goals for finances, future plans for retirement, etc? Do you have goals for saving each month? Do you have budgets for spending? Make sure you are on the same page so that there are no surprises. It’s also key to discuss your monthly obligations, your debts that you are liable for and anything else that could potentially cause future disagreements and potentially a breakup. Does your partner have a tax lien on their credit, do they owe 100 thousand to the IRS for back taxes? Trust and believe you do not need that stress in your life, but if your partner is that important to you, work together in resolving issues such as these. Credit is also important! Make sure your credit is solid as a couple as this will be a factor if you both want to purchase a property in the future or live together. Make sense? Ok…on to the next!
- INVEST IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP: Make sure you invest in a good counselor or marriage and family therapist. Marriage and relationships can be a strain, especially when you hit bumps in the road. If your relationship is serious or you are married, it is important to research a good marriage and family therapist in your area. Pre-marital counseling can solve some issues before they become deal killers. Take the necessary steps to invest into your relationship if you want it to last.
- NEEDS: Every person is different. If you want a long-lasting relationship, you need to spend the time to learn your partner. I highly recommend reading The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman and taking the quiz on your love languages at www.the5lovelanguages.com. This will help you learn what your partner needs in order to feel loved and vice versa.
- EXPECTATIONS: Has anyone ever told you not to expect anything from anyone? Well… this is where expectations come into play majorly. In relationships. If you or your partner start a relationship expecting different things, the chances are higher that you will build lots of resentment throughout your relationship. It’s very important to discuss expectations before entering into a relationship otherwise you will both be heavily disappointed.
Although there are so many different reasons why relationships might come to a standstill or end, it’s important to really know who you are, what you want and discuss the same with your partner! It’s important that we are proactive in our lives instead of being reactive.
Wishing you luck in love,
A woman’s scent is so important. Whether you are a stay at home mom, single and dating, married, or a professional business woman, you need a signature scent for day and night. Here are my top 5 scents I use interchangeably depending on which hat I wear. What’s your signature scent? Comment below! I would love to try it out. *Disclaimer – I love sweet scents, which may not be your thing, but I do know these are on a lot of best selling lists right now* These are great gifts for Birthdays and the Holidays! Men, take some notes.
- YSL Black Opium – Top-rated Black Opium EDP with notes of coffee beans, vanilla & white flowers. It is highly addictive. Seductively intoxicating. Like a shot of adrenaline, the rich coffee bean notes jolt the senses with a high dose of energy, becoming softer and more feminine with the white flowers of jasmine sambac. This scent can be used from day to night. It is one of my favorites. Buy on Sephora
- Lancome La Vie Est Belle, French for “life is beautiful”. Made with the most precious natural ingredients, the fragrance entwines the elegance of iris with the strength of patchouli and the sweetness of praline. Floral notes of sambac, jasmine and Tunisian orange blossom are added in the form of sublime absolutes. This is very feminine fragrance that I would definitely wear to a nice dinner date with my man or a special occasion. Buy on Sephora
- Juicy Couture Gold – The Viva la Juicy Gold woman is couture all the way, spinning an addictive web of glamour and decadence at the center of her golden world. This opulent rendition of Viva la Juicy indulges the senses with luscious wild berries, a kiss of honeysuckle, and a luxurious elixir of golden amber, melted caramel, and vanilla. All that glitters is gold. This is my daily go to fragrance and I always get tons of compliments on this fragrance! The packaging is super cute and girly too! Buy on Sephora
- Pink Sugar by Aquolina – Pink Sugar takes you on a journey through the pleasures and flavors of childhood with a playful blend of vanilla and caramel. This is a super flirty and romantic fragrance. Super sweet and smells like cotton candy! Buy on Sephora
- Viktor & Rolf Flowerbomb – I saved the best for last! An explosion of flowers, Flowerbomb opens with subtle traces of bergamot and mandarin, leading to a heart of an exquisite floral explosion, comprised of sambac jasmine, freesia, centifolia rose, and osmanthus. Deep amber, woody, and patchouli notes combine with warm vanilla and praline notes to complete a truly addictive fragrance. Wear it for a night out on the town with the girls, a romantic dinner, a spontaneous adventure with no definite destination. Flowerbomb ensures you’ll leave a trail of allure wherever you go. Buy on Sephora
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